Shyness in dating

In our next installment we will examine several more exercises that you can practice to make dating less anxiety-ridden.

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You would think about this person and I would urge you to stay relaxed and eventually I would move you all the way through the hierarchy getting up into the place where now you're actually thinking about going to the telephone and calling a person.

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Practice dating with someone who is not a potential partner for you.

This can be your cousin or your sister or your old friend. I suggest you go right through the whole rigmarole-call for a date with this person, where they play like they are a potential dating partner and you ask them out.

Should you rule out dating someone who’s loud and out-going, just because you aren’t that way yourself? Research has shown that we look for qualities in a partner that we don’t have ourselves, and this can balance out a relationship.

Keep an open mind but bear in mind that you may have vastly different views on what a good night out or a party might be like for both of you.

You may not realise it, but there are plenty of singles on dating sites out there who go pale at the thought of going on a date for the first time.

For those who consider themselves to be introverts or just quiet by nature, there is hope: dating doesn’t have to be scary!I want to get you as relaxed as I can physically, and then I want you to think about the thing you fear so much. I would put you through a program called the Jacobsen relaxation technique - I would start with your hands.I would have you fold up your hands into two fists as tightly as you can and to hold the tightness for a while and to consider what it felt like with your hands being so tight and then I would have you just relax your hands and stretch your fingers out. I would have you hold you forearms in a way that allows you to feel a lot of tension in your forearms. Once I got you through this process of being relaxed, I would begin to introduce to you the whole dating situation and I would start from the part of the dating situation that is least tension-producing for you. Now I want you to think about the type of person that maybe you would want to date sometime.You pick them up at their home, take them out to the car and to a show.It won't matter who it is, you'll get some laughs from it. As you practice doing these things, you feel more and more sure of yourself.If you happen to come across as an extrovert in your profile, you’re likely to attract someone who might be the wrong match for you.

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