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Unlike myself, she was using Tinder and Ok Cupid in an actually serious manner but, instead of love, she was finding a whole bunch of casual racism.Dasha Snow, 22, still uses Tinder occasionally, though she recently retired her Ok Cupid.
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When I ask her if she’s had a mostly negative or mostly positive experience with online dating throughout the years, she says: “By far, majority negative.” Snow says that when she was more active on dating apps, she would receive messages addressing her race every day or every other day. The messages she’s received have spanned from fetishizing her race, making stereotypical remarks or even to claims by people who say they matched with her “on accident” since they don’t like black women.
One example of a message she received was from a man on Ok Cupid who said he loved “black chicks” because of “their skin tone, hair, eyes, and I don’t want to sound gross or generalize, but I admire how they have nice booties.” He continued by telling Snow: “I think it’s interesting you did not put hip hop or rap in your list of preferred music.” Although I’m now in a serious relationship, for this story I decided that I would give Tinder another try, and also sign up for Ok Cupid, to see what kind of reactions I got from the Eugene area.
I can’t wait to have mine this morning …” Snow says being compared to food items is a normal occurrence.
“On Ok Cupid, anyone can message you — you don’t have to match with them or anything — so I’ll just get random messages from random people and they’ll just be like, ‘my chocolate mami’ or something, or ‘I really like your skin tone, very unique and delicious,’” Snow says.
Along with the fetishization, on the other end of the spectrum, Snow says she often gets outright ignored while online dating.
In the two weeks of our experiment, my coworker procured 906 matches — or men who also “liked” her — while I ended up with 787.
This data was specifically for heterosexual users, but OKCupid’s 2014 study also displayed data for users searching out same-sex relationships, and the data was similar for black women there.
Snow has looked for both men and women on dating apps, and says women tend not to show interest in her.
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