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The new guidelines by the Christian-Muslim forum reinforce the need for religious leaders to accept inter-faith marriages and warn that no one should ever feel forced to convert.

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The 2001 census suggests 21,000 but demographers believe the figure is considerably higher.

The document, called When Two Faiths Meet, is the product of months of painstaking negotiations between Christian and Muslim leaders and emphasises the need for tolerance and acceptance of mixed-faith marriages.

If the good-enough mother is an American, Canadian, or European woman, she usually has no idea that this can happen.

Arab and Muslim male visitors to Western countries tend to choose Western women as spouses who have been raised on romantic fairy tales, who are vulnerable and trusting; they are very young, perhaps quite lonely. The men seeking Western wives routinely "wine and dine" them, treat them with great charm and every courtesy and make outsize promises which the women choose, unwisely, to believe.

In 2002, in New Jersey, this happened to Hindu-born Marlyn Hassan, who was 8 months pregnant with twins at the time.

I have talked to many American mothers who have traveled to the Muslim world to meet their husbands' families who soon find that they cannot leave. Long ago, this happened to me in Kabul, Afghanistan.

But Muslim women are not allowed to marry outside their faith.

Many of the more conservative or evangelical Christian denominations, meanwhile, insist spouses convert or promise to bring their children up as Christians.

Although I was in my 30s and well educated, I was treated as though I was a silly little girl who had got herself into an irresponsible situation which could only be solved by my fiancé converting.

It was also assumed that although my fiancé was Catholic, his religion was less important and that he likely did not believe in it to the same degree Muslims believed in their religion.

Although marrying between faiths is entirely legal in Britain, couples often face resistance and hostility, both from family members and religious leaders.

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