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Still, despite the odds, sterotypes and other barriers, it does happen that Chinese men and foreign women get together.

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Rarely have they been depicted with traditionally masculine traits.

With a few exceptions, Asian men on screen have been small, sneaky and threatening — or spineless, emasculated wimps, or incompetents who may well be technically proficient in martial arts, but impotent when faced with white man’s superior strength or firepower. Even today, Asian American men complain that action heroes such as Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan rarely get the girl.

According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only. A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student.

But he said he was never able to satisfy her (yes, in way), so they parted.

The experience was so traumatic that he never sought another foreign girlfriend again.

On the flip side, I suspect that some foreign women might be unwilling to give Chinese men a chance because of money.

I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.

Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.

Their love story made international news because it was sanctioned by then-prime minister P. Botha himself and had found its way past the strict race laws of the time. At the time, their relationship violated at least three laws: the Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act; the Immorality Act; and the Group Areas Act, simply because of their different skin colour.

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