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Your effort and energy should go to her first, always. I was splitting my efforts 60/40 percent between Audrey and my friend. Although I was not married to Audrey yet, when you are dating intentionally, the principle remains the same. If my relationship with my friend in Santa Barbara had progressed any further, I would have been choosing my friend, over Audrey.My time and effort would have swung more in her favor, instead of Audrey’s.Even when it’s hard, and especially when it’s easy. Or is your heart completely yielded to your spouse, and ultimately the Lord?

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For Audrey and I, our boundary is that we don’t hang out alone with anyone of the opposite sex. If so, then don’t make room for relationships that will cause your spouse to doubt, feel jealous, compare themselves, or even feel like they are missing out.

if one of us has respectfully asked the other not to. Don’t send that completely innocent text about “work stuff” after hours.

Wait a minute, that sure sounds a lot like the vows once made to a special person called your spouse…

You made a promise, and now you must make decisions that honor your promise.

The good person in you won’t want to hurt them (your opposite-sex friend) or your spouse because neither one deserves to be hurt. These situations can seem complicated, but they are actually quite simple to understand.

*Disclaimers* Yes, you can have friends of the opposite sex.

But in the “down” season, that opposite-sex friendship could become a destructive wildfire – and one that is very hard to extinguish.

During that “down” season when you start having issues, disagreements, and fights with your wife, conveniently you have a female friend who understands you, will listen, is “always there for you,” and is fun and easy to talk to.

The more you give to someone else, the less you have for your wife or potential spouse.

And once you are married, your wife is the most important relationship you have besides your relationship with the Lord.

Let me share at the outset, that I have always been somewhat wary, and on occasions even suspicious about conferences.

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