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If I stay still and hold my lungs and muscles tight then maybe I’ll be steeled for what’s to come and everything will go to plan.
Next my lungs started pumping like a set of bagpipes and the world around me started to spin.
This is not ideal when driving at 70mph, but I managed to pull over and explain to Clare why our conversation about Prince Harry had come to a swift end and we were now on the hard shoulder half an hour from home. I have always assumed that my physical state comes from direct thoughts.
Yet if I imagine a friend with the same complaint, I know exactly what my advice would be.
So if I’m feeling agitated I try to imagine what I would tell a loved one.
If I think of something negative, my body tenses; if I feel sad, it softens. Our conversation in the car had been jolly and I was on my way home to see my babies. I’ve felt panicky and a little short of breath, but this was physically debilitating.
No stress, no drama, yet my body had taken a turn for the worse. Embarrassingly, yet thankfully, I was driven home by the AA (thank you, lovely AA man).
The brain requires a great deal of oxygen to function and breath work helps us to achieve clarity, feel grounded and be productive.
It also relieves stress, anxiety, depression and negative thought patterns.
So I suppose I’m neither calm nor chaos; I’m all of it. I have spent the same amount of time meditating and doing yoga as I have ranting with road rage and throwing inanimate objects at walls in toddler-style tantrums.
I believe there is room for all these emotions, but using calm as a base to come back to is imperative.
My mind has a habit of telling me to keep going, keep pushing, keep trying.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating