Dating a self loather

Intoxicants can work wonders to numb uncomfortable or unwanted emotions, and they have the added benefit of making the user feel absolutely horrible the next day.When people suffer from self-loathing, they tend to feel that they deserve the hangovers and fallout from their drug abuse: they feed off their own shame, and end up getting drunk or high all over again to escape the shameful, hurting feelings.

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It’s a vicious cycle that’s difficult to break free from, especially if a person has been stuck in that rut for many years.

There’s a certain comfort to be found in self-cruelty, alas.

Some even consider that kind of abandonment to be a noble gesture: they feel that since they will inevitably end up hurting those they love, it’s somehow better for them to set their loved ones “free.” Free from the hurt they might, possibly inflict.

Sadly, one of the greatest hallmarks of self-loathing is the refusal to get any kind of help.

Since a lot of self-loathing people feel that they don’t deserve love, or beauty, or kindness, or anything other than a kick to the stomach when they’re already down, many of them will sabotage their relationships in order to keep others from getting too close to them.

They might neglect or be physically abusive toward their partners, or cheat on them, or just mistreat them in general…

It can leak out into daily life and wreak havoc on our relationships, work, and overall wellbeing. Those who overeat do so in order to feel shame later: it’s a solid excuse for despising themselves.

People may stop bathing regularly, stop brushing their hair or teeth, wear the same clothes to sleep in that they wore during the day, etc.

In their suffering, they gain a measure of self-worth, even if the actions they take are destroying them and everyone around them.

The person who despises themselves and their life circumstances may just “lie back and take it” instead of doing anything about it.

Everything is a threat to the small piece of comfort they may have dug for themselves, and they’ll freak out if anything threatens that, even in theory.

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