Dating a guy who has no friends

I can (theoretically) go up to a girl at a bar or coffee shop and start talking to her. Or, the conversation ends after a while, and you both go your separate ways—still no real consequences. If you crave more male friendships in your life but feel anxious or uncertain about how to do it, don’t worry—there is hope.The first step is getting over any fears about “measuring up.” Remember, everyone gets insecure, and you’re always your own worst critic.

Once you do that, there are a number of things you can do to increase your chances of making new guy friends.

But even if you feel desperate to make new guy friends, you’ve got to relax.

Growing up, most men are pretty motivated to learn how to approach and talk to women.

It’s a natural part of becoming an adult (heterosexual) male—and even though it’s far from easy for everyone, the rules of engagement are clearer.

Ironically, as we start our journey to becoming men, some of us become preoccupied by worries about not fully reaching some manly ideal.

In high school I vividly remember being petrified that I would be a virgin for the rest of my life.

Even if you think you’re being judged when you talk to another guy, most likely he’s being more critical of himself than he is of you. Johnny Carson did 4,000 shows with the Tonight Show and said there wasn’t a single episode where he wasn’t nervous beforehand.

The key is acknowledging your nerves and then calmly stepping past them.

Part of it seems to be the way we grow up: as we hit puberty and we begin to develop as men, we try to avoid any notion of being “feminine”—which often means trying to appear stronger and less vulnerable.

During our adolescence and through the great social experiment we call “high school,” we struggle with afflictions like acne, the sudden desire to be noticed by potential love interests, and the scary realization that we’re going to be adults soon.

Yet, according to research, we crave intimacy in our friendships just as much as women.

Tags: , ,