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Demisexuals, other victims of trauma, people with body-image issues, people whose sexual interests are so stigmatized they don't feel comfortable disclosing them to people they've just met—lots of people face the same challenge you do.Something else to bear in mind: It's not unheard of for someone reentering the dating scene to have some difficulty making new connections at first.
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The answer—how you go home with someone without panicking—is so obvious, SCARED, that I'm guessing your therapist has already suggested it: Have sex with someone you know and trust.
You didn't have any issues having sex with your ex because you knew and trusted him.
It sucks, and I fucking hate the people who victimized you.
But it may help you feel a little better about having to make an investment in someone before becoming intimate—which really isn't the worst thing in the world—if you can remind yourself that you aren't alone.
The trick is to keep going on dates until you finally click with someone.
In other words, SCARED, give yourself a break and take your time.
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